Teen Mom 2 is back on MTV, and with it, a host of revelations about the fab four's lives since we last saw them ... which was a long time ago. On TV at least.
The Season 5 premiere documented major events that took place about a year ago, and in Jenelle Evans years, that's like a lifetime. Case in point:
She aborted Courtland Rogers' baby. She has since moved on with Nathan Griffith and is pregnant again at this moment. No abortion is planned.
Come along for THG's +/- recap to see how Jenelle's abortion played out along with Chelsea Houska, Leah Messer and Kailyn Lowry's drama ...
We'll start things off with Jenelle, because she's the reason for the show. She explains that it wouldn’t be fair to her son, Jace, to have another baby.
Minus 150, because she doesn't even have custody of him, and Minus 50 more because it's not stopping her right now ... though maybe things changed?
The Teen Mom 2 trailer strongly hinted that she would abort this pregnancy, but rather than misleading us, the promo barely scratched the surface.
She saved all the drama for the Season 5 premiere, as viewers got to watch her mom Barbara Evans drive her to the clinic to get the abortion pill.
Wow. Plus 200 for not sugar-coating this at least.
Jenelle Evans was told how it would force her to miscarry the fetus, and also opened up about her addiction to heroin and failed attempts to recover.
Again, no holds barred last night. Plus 100.
Bahbrah tries to talk with her about birth control and money, but things quickly escalate and we fear that she's not going to pull it together this time.
Minus 250, J. Just chill out sometimes.
Regardless of what you think of her decision to end the pregnancy, give the show credit for being frank. There was no spin here. She is who she is.
Reality TV that's reality? Plus 300.
Elsewhere on Teen Mom 2 Season 5 Episode 1, and speaking of pregnancies, Chelsea Houska's baby daddy Adam Lind is about to be a father again.
With another woman. Chelsea is not thrilled.
She worries that Aubree will think she’ll be able to see her half-sister all the time, and will thus be let down. That's the least of your worries, girlfriend. Minus 50.
Adam says Aubree will see the baby as much as she sees him. If only we had any idea what that meant or he weren't a complete deadbeat. Minus 350.
Kailyn Lowry's husband, Javi, is stationed in Delaware with the military, is battling her ex as well. This time it's about moving out of the state wit their kid.
Jo Rivera, Isaac's dad, doesn’t want to be so far away from their child, thus limiting her ability to up and move to be near her man where he's stationed.
Kailyn, who we know is starting a family with Javi away from Jo, is asked by a friend whether it's good for Isaac to do this, uprooting him and all.
Clearly, she's decided that it is. At least she seems happy now, and Jo is kinda bad news, so we'll give this Plus 100, with an asterisk, as it's subject to change.
Unlike Jenelle, not everything Kailyn does plays out in the tabloids, so we may actually learn more about this storyline as the MTV season progresses.
Leah Messer's life is a lot different than when we last saw her. She's now Leah Calvert, having married Jeremy Calvert, and they had baby girl Addalynn.
Her twins’ father, Corey Sims, has also gotten remarried since their dramatic split. Leah reflects that it feels like just yesterday that she was with Corey.
It sort of was. One year in Teen Mom 2 years is like 10 in regular years. Despite divorce chatter involving Jeremy and Leah, they seem really happy. Plus 100.
Leah and Corey received a tough medical diagnosis for their daughter Aliannah, whose rare form of Muscular Dystrophy might force her into a wheelchair one day.
Plus 300 for putting on a united front for their little girl.
EPISODE TOTAL: +50! Follow the link to watch Teen Mom 2 online, and comment below: What did you think of Jenelle's decision and the rest of the premiere?
1. Farrah Abraham Sex Tape
Farrah Abraham, star of the original Teen Mom, went on to star in a porn video called Backdoor Teen Mom, which she tried to pass off as a "leaked" sex tape.
2. Jenelle Evans Beats Up Girl, Gets Arrested
Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans beat the crap out of Brittany Truett a few years ago in one of the more graphic fight videos we've ever seen.
3. Farrah Abraham on Dr. Phil
Farrah Abraham gets put in her place by Dr. Phil. You gotta watch this interview clip.
4. Amber Portwood-Gary Shirley Fight
Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley FIGHT on MTV's Teen Mom. It's one for the ages right here.
5. Jenelle Evans Fights Roommate
Jenelle Evans fights her roommate in an epic scene from Teen Mom 2.
6. Kailyn Lowry Fight
Domestic violence is not just for Amber Portwood. Kailyn Lowry gets into a fight with now husband Javi on Teen Mom 2.
7. Teen Mom 2 Commercial: Barbara Raps!
Jenelle's mom Barbara actually sort of raps in this awesome ad for Teen Mom 2.
8. Teen Mom 3 Trailer
There was a Teen Mom 3 for one season. Then it was canceled, but here's a look at some of the drama those girls faced.
9. Teen Mom 2 Trailer: Season 5
Teen Mom 2 Season 5 begins January 21 on MTV. Here's a look at some of what you can expect.
10. Leah Messer's Miscarriage
Leah Messer suffered a miscarriage before getting pregnant again with new husband Jeremy Calvert.
11. Leah Messer-Corey Simms Split
Leah Messer and Corey Simms shockingly broke up after a wedding and two daughters together.
12. Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra (In General)
Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra are step-siblings and parents and lovers. That alone is pretty insane, but they make it work.
13. Kieffah
Kieffer Delp romanced Jenelle Evans for a time and contributed to some of her more epic meltdowns.
14. Amber Portwood in Jail
Amber Portwood did time for drug charges. HARD time. She was locked up for about a year and a half.
15. Chelsea Houska Cries
The most shocking thing about Chelsea Houska crying all the time on Teen Mom 2 was that she didn't move on from Adam Lind much sooner.